Fashion at the End of the World

The future of fashion?

     There are two kinds of people: the spenders and the savers.  Never has this been more apparent than in the apocalypse, as shelter-in-place orders are gradually loosened to make way for a marginally more social paranoia.  The spenders have been bursting out of their dark, confining Hobbit holes like a popped can of biscuits to rush to the handful of restaurants in my city, an upscale community in Texas, that are allowing outdoor dining and 25% occupancy to those who equate a plate of enchiladas with their God-given American liberty.  They might contract the plague, but by golly, they'll do it sitting on a patio sipping a margarita that comes in a different glass than the margarita they made themselves and enjoyed on their own patio last week for markedly less than $12 plus tip.  And that's fine; choices have to be made and the economy can't stay shut down forever, but as our own household has been without an income for two months now, we're good with drinking on the cheap at home and sending good wishes for the intrepid canaries in the coal mine.  We all have to get back out there at some point.

     Face masks are a thing now, and are no less divisive in separating the spenders and the savers. We've been doing curbside grocery pickup so it's been a non-issue, but with Facebook there are no mysteries anymore.  While people are saving scads on lipstick and teeth whitening treatments, face masks have become the hot new gotta-have-it accessory in our trendy little hamlet, with the most fashionable among us modeling the latest styles in kicky leopard prints with bright fuchsia ties to add a pop of color to the season's most popular accessory.  As one ventures farther out of town the masks become more utilitarian: standard-issue PPE disposables, purchased on Amazon at a package of 50 for a cool $30. Someone with a large garage and somewhat smaller scruples isn't hurting in this pandemic.

     The extreme other end of the spectrum is, in my opinion, the most fabulous.  A series of photographs in the style of "The People of Walmart" has been making its way around the internet in a stunning display of resourcefulness and batshit-crazy.  As Stefon on SNL would say, this place has everything: maxi pads (with wings for added security), sponges-on-a-string, carved-out milk jugs that look like a homemade "Outbreak" Halloween costume, and plastic bags fastened tightly over the head (please don't do this- the idea is to NOT die of asphyxiation).  One gentleman (I think) was wearing an elaborate head-to-toe suit of puffy plastic bag material with a single large breathing tube sticking out of the top; he looked like a giant tardigrade and I was enchanted.

     Say what you will about re-entry; it's been a polarizing, often heated subject and you have to do what makes you comfortable after reviewing the evidence from experts (the lady on Facebook with access to Google and a doctor in the extended family is not an expert), as well as staying in the bounds of the laws that are currently in place for your state. One thing is for sure, though: there's nothing like a disaster to allow people's freak flags to fly high on all points of the continuum.  And to that I say: God bless America.